tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60422363099396209322024-03-14T00:54:53.160-07:00Ramblings of a Working MomSBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-3287517679110516862010-11-11T08:11:00.000-08:002010-11-11T08:55:11.159-08:00The Highs and LowsHello Internet, it's been a while, life has been hectic, to say the least. I've had moments of blissfull happiness, so full of love that I couldn't stand it but I've also been devastated, had my heart broken into tiny pieces. First the stuff, my grandma (my mom's mom) passed away at the beginning of October. She was such a beautiful soul. She was kind and generous. She had the ability to listen to you and to somehow always know what you were trying to say and to say back to you what you needed the most. She was 90 and despite a brief illness in the early 70s, she was healthy up until the last 6 months of her life. I was sad when she passed but I couldn't help but feel blessed that we'd had her here as long as we did. She raised 2 kids, she saw all of her grandchildren graduate from school and get married, and she was able to see (on multiple occassions) her 2 great-grandchildren. She had such a good, full life. <br /><br />Then we lost Max. Our 10 year old german shephard/beagle on a night that was supposed to be just a normal Tuesday night. Ric was going to go to Lowes. I was making dinner. Max seemed ok when we got home but went downhill in a matter of 2 short hours. It was the saddest day of my life, and that is saying a lot considering I'm the same gal who lost her home when she was 7 months pregnant. I can't write out everything that happened..because I'm doing my very best to let it go. I can't carry that kind of depression around with me and still be a good wife and mother and employee. It just doesn't work. I will say that I cry every day and I will probably continue to do so for quite a long time. I miss him SO much.<br /><br />On to the good things...we took trips, one to Iowa to see my grandma on an AIRPLANE with my 23 month old!! and my 18 month old nephew!! Talk about stressfull flying!! But of course, the boys were amazing. So, so good on the plane. I was in awe. I didn't take my first plane ride until I was 22 years old, so Will already has more traveling under his belt that his mom did at his age. Then we went to the beach to celebrate Grammie's bday. The ride there was the pits. It seemed like we had to stop for something or another every 10 minutes. Our 4 hour drive to the beach ended up taking a whooping 7 hours. Ugh. But, once we arrived. It was bliss. We played in the sand, we played in the water, we flew kits, we napped, we ate, we took our first family bike ride, we had a night to ourselves when Will stayed with Grammie and Granddad. It was one of the most enjoyable trips we've taken in a long time. <br /><br />On top of that, we managed to squeeze in some MORE fun..a trip to Salisbury to take a ride on some train named THOMAS, the Cabarrus County Fair with the aunts and uncles and nephew, an attempt at going to the hot air balloon festival in Statesville only to get there and be told they were full (GRRR) but we did see about 15 balloons in the sky on the way there which I was pretty excited about! We've been visiting friends and spending lots of time together. Oh, and did I mention we now have a TWO year old! How? How is that even possible? I'll never figure out where the last 2 years have gone. But my baby is 2 and he is growing up so fast and is just the sweetest thing. I am so lucky to be his mom.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-74759571417478812832010-07-08T12:17:00.000-07:002010-08-30T07:50:16.735-07:00Summer Reading ListBecause the heat outside is EXCRUTIATING right now, I've found myself staying indoors and doing some pretty serious reading, especially considering I have a toddler underfoot most times...tricky to read while playing trucks. So, the majority of my reading is spent either at night after we wrestle that boy into bed or while I'm in the bathroom (TMI, right?) But it's the only quiet room in the house!!<br /><br />So, here is my list of reads so far..I will add to it as I finish them...<br /><br />1. The Help..good story, several main characters but their stories were all well developed<br /><br />2. Sarah's Key..good but such a haunting story. I couldn't start another book right away. I needed time to digest this one.<br /><br />3. The Red Tent..my favorite so far. A story of mothers, sisters, daughters, love and pain. All beautifully told. <br /><br />4. Olive Kittredge..eh..I guess it is supposed to be lots of short stories with Olive Kittredge as the tie. Not my cup of tea. <br /><br />5. Walk by Faith..ok, good story but needed a more mature voice, maybe? I'm not sure what it was that didn't quite work for me.<br /><br />6. The Time Traveler's Wife...currently reading..ok, actually, I never finished it. I just couldn't get into the characters and the story (I'm hanging my head in shame as I type)<br /><br />7. The Opposite of Love-really good, easy read<br /><br />8. After you-ok, wasn't as good as #7-written by the same author<br /><br />9. The Book Thief-one of my top books from this summer. Amazing story of strength and faith.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-19004651251640591632010-06-30T06:06:00.000-07:002010-06-30T07:00:58.366-07:00Things on my mind todayHmmm..so it's Wednesday..almost Thursday, which is technically my Friday, so let's get this day out of the way. It seems like there's a lot jumbling around in my brain today so it may be a good day to put it out into the universe and maybe get it off of my shoulders. <br /><br />1. The hubby's work is not going so good right now..ugh..I hate worrying about money and even worse I hate fighting about money, so we're trying really hard not to go that route. Hopefully things will turn around soon because we are a family of eaters and I would hate to have to give that up. However, it has helped us reexamine our spending (his at Lowes and mine at certain online sites..<em>dang you Kohls and your incredible savings!!!</em>) and also at our weekend spending, which is all FOOD. My mantra before the economic downturn was I cook during the week, I'm not doing it on the weekends. Well, we can't go blowing $100 we don't have on eating out all weekend, so we've been eating at home. <em>Sigh</em>. This has it's pluses too. Our sensitive stomachs seem to feel better, I don't have that bloated sick feeling after I eat, and I sense my butt is actually getting a little bit smaller since I'm wearing a size 6, yes, SIX pant today. Just to let it be known, I've also cut back on my $15 hot yoga class I was taking and instead I went to the $5 class on Sat! At 8AM! Look at me SAVE. <br /><br />2. I've been reading a TON this summer. I always forget how much I love to read until I start doing it and then I'm carrying books around with me and smuggling them into the bathroom for that few minutes of peace and quiet! Ah, I never thought I'd enjoy the time I spent in the bathroom until I had baby W. The best so far, The Red Tent. I've also joined Goodreads so that should help me keep track of my reading list instead of the rumpled list I've been carrying around with me. <br /><br />3. My brother-in-law is still out of work. Without saying anything terribly ugly or negative, that's all I'm going to say. Well, I will say that I worry about my sister, a lot. <br /><br />4. My mother in law has been asking about potty training. Wow. How can I have a kid old enough to be thinking about teaching how to use a toliet? One that maybe one day might not wear diapers? But he's just a BABY...my heart actually aches thinking about him getting that big. We decided we would just introduce it into the bathroom and let him check it out for now. I might actually cry at my desk today thinking about this.<br /><br />5. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be thankful lately. I found a couple of quotes today that sum it up for me:<br /><br /><em>Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. ~W.T. Purkiser</em><br /><br />and I like this one too:<br /><br /><em>We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder</em><br /><br />I've been trying to live with a little bit more grace and peace and to let people know how much they mean to me. I want the people in my life to know what they mean to me. And I want God to know how truly grateful I am for every moment I have with them. Some days I do better than others, but all I can do is try.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-14799763193362514172010-05-27T07:14:00.000-07:002010-05-27T07:44:46.576-07:00The Early BDay GiftSometimes it feels like the days all cram together..the work days drag by and the weekends are over before I've even had a chance to put my feet up on the reclining sofa, which I love and feel some guilt about not spending enough time on. But I love those moments where things slow down and come into focus. Where the blur of the work week disappears and it feels like is actually time to breathe. There have been a lot of moments like that for me lately. Maybe it's the upcoming birthday (ugh to 33) but I know each day is a gift. Mushy, yes, but absolutely true. These are a couple other things I've picked up along the way:<br /><br />1. I know that my husband does all that he can for me and Will. Does he go off on a 4hr trip to Lowes sometimes, yes. Does the never ending list of projects make my OCD go a little nuts, sure. I'd be lying if I said he was perfect..that we are perfect all the time, but I didn't marry him because he was perfect. I married him for a million other reasons. And in the 9 years we've been together those reasons have only multiplied. I know how lucky I am to be his wife. <br /><br />2. I have a pretty awesome kid. He is the sweetest soul I've ever met. He is kind and tender-hearted, surprisingly patient and already has this sense of humor that cracks me up. He has learned how to tickle other people and makes the cutest damn noise while he does it..lalalala. Most nights we all gather in our bed and read stories and tickle and laugh. It is the best 20 minutes of my day. I am blessed. <br /><br />3. My mom and dad are my constants. Sure they can make me a little crazy from time to time but they have spent the majority of their lives taking care of us and they continue to take care of us even as we all become "adults". <br /><br />4. My mom was right when she said my sisters would be invaluable to me when we grew up. I love them so much. They are my best friends. Laura is sensible and so considerate. She is the first one there when I need her. And Jenny is so much like me. She makes me laugh all the time. <br /><br />5. My MIL and FIL are the most amazing grandparents. They care for Will in ways that I can't even convey in writing. He is so lucky to have them.<br /><br />6. Oh, and my friends. I am blessed to have friends that I can pick up with right where we left off. It is a gift to have them all. <br /><br />7. I love yoga. I started it back in February and it has become my most favorite way to spend any free time I stumble across. I am lucky enough to get to go during my lunch hour 2 days a week and then my MIL keeps him some Friday mornings and on really special occasions I get to go on a weekend. it is awesome. It makes me feel like I am awesome. I mean come on, we all need something that makes us feel like a rock star! Even if it is an almost 33 yr old rock star. <br /><br />So, how about you? What do you know to be true?SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-47683743251501762562010-03-02T06:48:00.000-08:002010-03-02T07:10:37.358-08:00At Sixteen Months<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Dsd8orxzJRw/S40lr5lSe1I/AAAAAAAAAAU/WAoN6WjdKoE/s1600-h/Will+Big+Smile.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Dsd8orxzJRw/S40lr5lSe1I/AAAAAAAAAAU/WAoN6WjdKoE/s320/Will+Big+Smile.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444048960682621778" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Dsd8orxzJRw/S40lruQJsCI/AAAAAAAAAAM/1uCKMtuoVp4/s1600-h/Will+and+Mom+Smiling.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Dsd8orxzJRw/S40lruQJsCI/AAAAAAAAAAM/1uCKMtuoVp4/s320/Will+and+Mom+Smiling.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444048957641175074" /></a><br /><br /><br />You are 16 months old! How can that be? It was just yesterday when you were looking up at me with a look of total wonder like 'where am I' and 'are you the lady who feeds me?'. You are not a little baby any more and at least once a day, this breaks my heart. But for the most part, you amaze me and your dad every day. You understand far more than you can speak right now. You went over and picked out every book I asked for the other night while we were reading!! I had no idea you were really listening when we read books every night before bed! You say dada all the time and momma only when it's a really urgent matter. You point at everything and say 'da'. We figure that means 'that'. You've gotten the hang of saying 'thank you' when someone hands you something, at least, that's what we like to think you are saying. Sometimes you just talk and talk and talk with such emphasis that I know you are talking about something serious. I can't wait until you start talking in words I can understand. I know you have a lot to say. You've learned how to cheese really big when a camera is out (see above) and you've even taken a couple pretty decent shots. Maybe you have a future in photography.<br /><br />You are in the process of getting FIVE molars and it is tough work. You seem to enjoy chewing on mustard bottles for pain relief. And having extra cuddle time which is ok with me. You love to watch the Wonder Pets and any time Moose and Zee are on, you get very still. In fact, that is the only time you are very still. I tried to make you a Moose and Zee pillow but you seem very uninterested. If they are not on that big tv, they are just not as good. <br /><br />You STILL do not sleep through the night. I'm not sure what else to say about that other than..please, please sleep through the night soon. You have taken an interest in sleeping in our bed around midnight each night and because I am exhausted, I bring you in there. I guess that makes me an enabler. You are also very attached to my pillow. You do not like to share the bed. You sleep sideways most nights. Although I am more tired than I can even say, the perk is that you always snuggle in close to me while you sleep and sometimes you make the sweetest little noises..little sighs, small words..it is the most precious thing and makes it totally worth missing sleep.<br /><br />Monkey is still your #1 friend. Monkey comes everywhere with us. One day when you're older I will tell you how we really had two monkeys that we switch out so that you always had a somewhat clean monkey to chew on and that I was terrified that you would somehow find both monkeys and your universe would suddenly no longer make sense! <br /><br />I can't believe how fast it's all going by! I love you more each and every day.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-31348219023571252012010-02-01T06:14:00.000-08:002010-02-01T06:43:22.091-08:00My Kid Thinks I'm Pretty NeatSo, I got my W2 in the mail last week and it set my mind into motion..How can this be? I'm making LESS now than I did in 2004? This is ridiculous! No wonder it feels like we never have any money! This went on for quite some time and then I set out on the computer, career builder to be exact. I glanced around until something caught my eye. A paralegal job in Charlotte in litigation and appeals (which is the area that I work in now). Hmmmm. I thought about it for a day or two before I mentioned it to Ric. When I finally did, he said what any extremely supportive husband would say, 'I'll support you in whatever you do'. As much as I like to hear that, it didn't really help my decision any. See, to work in Charlotte, I could expect a hefty raise in my sad little salary, but I'd be trading in a whole lot. Right now, I work in Concord, 15 minutes from my house. I only work Mondays-Thursdays because my boss knows how hard it was for me to come back to work after having Will and well, because he is an ok guy, he lets me take off on Fridays to be with Will. I can leave work at the drop of a hat if I need to get home for whatever reason. No questions ask, because again, my boss rocks. And I've been here for 6 years. They took me in with NO experience, and he has taught me everything I know about litigation. <br /><br />But it was something Ric said that really helped me make up my mind. He said late one night this weekend that Will wouldn't be a little one forever and it would be wise for us to spend as much time as possible with him now, while we can. I realized last night that right now Will thinks I'm pretty neat. I feed him when he's hungry, I know where all his tickle spots are, I read him the books he picks out and I play the games he makes up, like when he stuffs shapes in my mouth and I blow them out as far as I can and he laughs and goes and brings it back (kind of like a game of fetch). He thinks I rock. And I know that the older he gets he might not always feel that way. His dad is a pretty cool guy too, and he's gonna teach him how to work on cars and play with power tools (I can't compete with that), so for now, I want to soak up each and every minute I can with him. So, I'm staying put. I may have to work, but at least where I'm at now, I can take my Fridays and spend it with my baby. And that is worth way more than any big, fat paycheck.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-71189676007590866882010-01-27T06:18:00.000-08:002010-01-27T07:09:23.443-08:00Our First Adult Getaway in 3 YEARS!Yep, so it finally happened. We said goodbye to Taco (our nickname for baby W) and headed to the mountains for 2 days of skiing, snowboarding, sleep and other adult type things. Our first vacation together just me and Ric in 3 years..and those three years have included a couple of the most significant events in our lives...a flood that destroyed our home, a rebuild of said home thanks to flood insurance, moving in with my inlaws while I was seven months pregnant, moving into my parents retirement home, moving back into the "flood" house, and the MOST important of all, getting pregnant after trying for a YEAR and giving BIRTH..yep, so we've been a little busy but I figured since W. is almost 15 months old, he would probably have enough memories to remember me when I came home but not old enough to miss us so bad that he refused to play, eat or poop (the main parts of his day). <br /><br />We are so lucky to have grandparents that live 2 streets away and that are willing to tackle the ever changing, never the same 2 nights in a row, dreaded nights. Yes, they were tired when we returned home but they said they loved every minute of it, even the 2:00 AM wrestling match with Will rolling around on Granddad and sleeping across Grammie's neck. They even said we could make plans to do it again. WOOHOO!! (How is next Friday? haha) Those are some good grandparents.<br /><br />But back to the story at hand..we went to Appalachian Ski Mountain..stayed in a room that wasn't pretty but it was perfect for what we needed and hit the slopes. Now, I have never stepped foot in skis or on a snowboard. I've never even been on a skateboard and the last experience I had with rollar blades left me with a pretty nasty road rash (OUCH! I will never again try to walk a german shepherd/beagle mix on rollar blades)..so I'm not the most graceful or balanced gal..we tried to just wing it at first, along with the 3,000 App. students that were also there that night for orientation. I mean seriously? On a Tuesday night? COME ON! But when I couldn't even walk up a tiny little hill, I knew I was going to need some instruction. Some serious professional instruction. We signed up for a group lesson but it only ended up being the 2 of us and our instructor..a 16 year old little ski-dude who when talking referred to "older people" and I think he meant US. Anywho..I made it up on the skis and down on the bunny slopes a couple time and felt pretty good about myself. Now my husband who "claimed" he had been skiing once like 15 years ago is a big fat LIAR. He was awesome on skis..he made it look so easy and fun, just like one of those fellas in the olympics. Totally cool to see your husband just rock at something you've never seen him do before!<br /><br />The next day we decided since we had mastered the art of skiing..haha..we'd tackle snowboarding. Again..we went with a lesson and again we were the only ones who signed up for that one..very nice! I knew as soon as I locked into that board that I was wrong..skiing is not scary..skiing is fun and free and your legs can move independent of the other one. Snowboarding is one tricky, terrifying sport. I fell down the hill repeatedly, face first, butt first, flying down the hill throwing out "shit!" while the 6 years old skiied down with expert percision. Ric fell down like twice. I had to talk myself into picking up my foot to go again and again..Ric was doing turns and jumps after 20 minutes. You get the picture..He took to it in no time and loved it and I couldn't wait to trade in my board and go back to the skis. But we laughed. A LOT. We smiled and talked and just took our time. No schedules, no one to feed but ourselves and we just ate JUNK, just the two of us. It was by far one of my favorite vacations with him.<br /><br />And even though we missed taco and he missed us (we were told), we all did just fine, no better than fine. It was really, really great.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-31997676277709998872009-11-23T11:37:00.000-08:002009-11-23T11:46:08.626-08:00If I had left a note for the nanny today it would have read...So, I didn't have a chance to write the note that was in my head for Jesscia, our nanny, this morning before running out the door (late again) for work and then spilling oj all over my sweater..so I rambled off the part about the juice to my hubby in the hopes that he would pass it along...but if I had been the ultra prepared, totally organized mom, my baby's note would have read the following:<br /><br />Dear Jessica,<br /><br />1. So, we started juice this weekend. He can have 1 cup a day with either lunch or snack. We don't want him to think he can have juice all day long and become hooked on it and refuse his water and/or milk.<br /><br />2. He only pooped once yesterday so that means he's probably going to have at least 3 today. I apologize ahead of time.<br /><br />3. He was super fussy last night and ended up sleeping in our bed ALL night. He likes to sleep sideways in my spot so that I end up curled up at the foot of the bed next to our dog, Max. Max does not like having someone in his spot but he's starting to get used to it. He might be very cranky, fussy, icky today, just like his Mom. Again, I apologize.<br /><br />4. We have spent 4 days together just hanging out. He will miss me today (this is what I chose to believe) just like I will be missing him. Please give extra cuddles today from me and let him know that as soon as we hit the lottery, I will be available full-time.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-88393908479103298472009-11-11T08:53:00.000-08:002009-11-11T08:58:29.780-08:00Married LifeQuoting Bishop Jeremy Taylor, "Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety, than the single life; it hath more care, but less danger, it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love and charity, and those burdens are delightful."<br /><br />I love being married. I guess I always knew that I would be good at it if I was fortunate enough to find my 'lobster' (Friends reference). And I did. Mr. B. is my person. He is my everything. I sometimes spend time watching him do small tasks that I've seen him do countless times and I never get tired of watching him do them. He makes me feel GOOD inside. I can't imagine my life without him and there's no way I would ever want to. Don't get me wrong, we've had our fair share of fights, some major, others not so bad, but we always came out the other side of them. We just decided that we'd stick together through the good and the bad, no matter what. And we have. I am so blessed to be married to my very best friend, someone who gets who I am, who knows me. He is an amazing husband.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-49999840514179336062009-10-22T11:48:00.000-07:002009-10-22T12:09:24.853-07:00A Year AgoA year ago today we were <span style="color:#000000;">10 days</span> away from having a <span style="color:#3333ff;">baby boy</span>.<br /><br />We were technically "homeless" after having lost our home in a flood 3 months earlier.<br /><br />We were living with my in-laws along with our 2 dogs and 5 cats + their 4 dogs. My dear Mother-in-Law was used to having quiet in the mornings. That was not possible given this situation.<br /><br />I spent a lot of time crying after the lights went out, and quite a bit when the lights were on.<br /><br />I missed our home, I missed having our own space but I knew how truly blessed we were to have a home to stay in.<br /><br />Those months after the flood were hard, no hard doesn't even begin to describe it. It was devastating. We lost stuff, but that wasn't the worst part. We had spent 9 months of our lives renovating the house before moving into it. We only lived there for a year before it was all destroyed. It was something we were both so extremely proud of. We literally had put our blood, sweat and tears into it (and all the money from the sale of our first home). I remember how angry I was that we had to carry flood insurance on the property. I really believed we would fork over $1,000 a year for the insurance for the next 30 years and never have to use it. But that all changed that Tuesday morning. With no warning it was all gone, but that story is for another post, another day.<br /><br /><em>Flash forward to a year later...</em><br /><br />We are back in our home. Despite the warnings and crazy looks from family and friends, we moved back in as soon as the construction company was finished and the final insurance payment had cleared the bank. And I love it. I love it as much as I did when we moved into it the first time. I thought I'd be scared and constantly worry that it would happen again but as it turns out, it rained the entire first week after we had moved in and I wasn't scared. Maybe going through it once was enough for me to believe it wouldn't happen again or maybe I just know that we can make it through it if it were to happen again.<br /><br />We have a very active, very charming, makes me laugh-out-loud every day, little boy, W. Gosh, I adore that kid! He looks like me but he's got his Daddy's personality. He is the best thing that has happened to us. We are blessed. He is 10 days away from being 1 and walking all over the place. Before he goes to bed at night, he turns into a bit of a drunk sailor and walks real unsteady, giggling the whole time. He knows he's adorable.<br /><br /><div>I thank God every night for our flood insurance. We only paid $2,000 for two years before they paid us $134,000.00. </div><div> </div><br />Most importantly, one year later, I love my husband. I love him more today than I did a year ago. I thank God every single night for him. Marrying him was the best decision I've ever made. Being his wife is a gift. I am so blessed.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-51295655298066098602009-10-21T13:30:00.001-07:002009-10-21T13:30:31.696-07:00Bueller!! Bueller!!I feel like I'm not alone when I say that I'm not present. I'm not really here because when I'm at work, I'm thinking about being at home and when I'm at home, I'm thinking about the 15 things I either forgot to do at work or should be doing at home. I'm always distracted or lost somewhere in my own head. I ask my hubby questions and try to be a good, considerate wife, but then I never really hear his answer and I watch my little man but I'm usually doing something else at the same time. I just wonder what the trick is...is it possible to do it all? Is it possible to be kick-ass wife, mother, friend, sister and employee every single day? If it is, I'd love to know the secret!SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-66052191750628359572009-09-30T13:31:00.000-07:002009-09-30T13:32:17.588-07:00Missing My BabyI miss my baby today. Not just the normal baby pain but the what the hell am I doing still working while my baby is getting bigger and bigger every day and I’m MISSING it!!! I struggle so much with being a working mom but the point that always brings me back to the fact that I have to work is that if I didn’t have a job, we’d be broke. Like seriously broke. We’d barely have enough for the monthly bills, plus I’d have to get medical insurance and we wouldn’t have a 401K to contribute to anymore so adios retirement! (Deep Breath, Slow Deep Breath.)<br /><br />I know if I didn’t work, I’d spend the majority of my days (and nights) thisclose to a panic attack over bills and mortgages and paychecks that may or may not be there (my husband runs his own business so if he’s got no work, then we’ve got no paycheck) so I wouldn’t be the kind of happy-go-lucky baby my little guy needs and deserves. I’d be a wreck.<br /><br />But today, things are super slow here. I’m bored out of my wits and it just feels like a waste of time for me to be here and my baby to be somewhere else and it just sucks. Maybe one day our circumstances will change and the option will be available to us, but for now I think I’m just going to have to “grin and bear it” or “suck it up” or some other pointless saying, but you get the idea.<br /><br />I know the answer for me is to make each moment I’m with him count. I can’t spend time worrying about what I miss because there’s nothing I can do about that. I can only look forward to the next adorable thing he does and just soak it all in.<br /><br />This working mom stuff blows.SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-78123580494189009342009-09-30T11:40:00.000-07:002009-09-30T11:57:24.104-07:00The Muffins Told Me To Do ItI guess it's ok to lay it all out there...I have a problem. Not a serious drug related problem, but close. I have absolutely no will power when it comes to baked goods. I mean like zilch. I've been trying to shrink the size of my body, specifically the belly, thighs and butt. However in the month of my Firm DVDs and Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred, the only thing smaller on me are my boobs, which were already super tiny and the one dang thing I didn't want to lose!! WTF??<br /><br />I've actually been doing really good with the exercise part. I've been trying to do it at least 3-4 times a week but I know that I will never lose my pregnancy/bread/cheese/chocolate weight if I continue to eat crap. Lots and lots of crap. I'm talking about my desk drawer full of mini snickers and twix bars and since they are mini, that means I can eat 4 at a time! I'm talking about the box of muffins and donuts brought to our office today by Satan himself (only he was possing as a real estate agent) with some of the best looking baked goods I could hope for. Ah, as I finished off my SECOND muffin after lunch I came to the realization that my love affair with all things bread is going to have to come to an end if I have any hope of losing some of this chunk!<br /><br />It doesn't help that I'm married to a man with an unbelieveable metabolism. He can eat around the clock and never gains a pound (of course he believes this to be a curse!) I wish I could be cursed like that!<br /><br />I know, I'll just start slowly..I won't eat another muffin today!SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-64878121639440025072009-09-29T08:47:00.000-07:002009-09-29T08:58:35.754-07:00Flipped off by a Squirrel and I Deserved ItSo on Sunday, I took on the job of clearing out what some would consider a yard. Being out of the house from the flood for almost a year and having left it a bit of a mess before that, we were now left with some serious overgrown weeds, trees, bushes, etc. The hubby took baby W. to see G&G for a couple of hours so I got all dressed in long pants and long sleeves and a sweat band (yeah, pretty hot, I know) and went out front. Truth be told, I'm not really a fan of yard work..I'm terrified of bugs and snakes and anything that has more legs than me; however, I have lately become a fan of exercise and since it was 80 degrees outside this weekend and I was dressed like it was 40 degrees, I knew I'd sweat off the pancakes and bacon I had for breakfast. And sure enough about an hour into it, I was sweltering, nearing the point of seeing those funny black spots when I'd open and close my eyes. I continued to clear out the twigs and got ahold of a particularly large one. It was one that had grown up from the ground and spiraled around the tree. I started to tug on it and realized it wasn't going to come easy. So, I started to 'heave and ho' and ended up getting it down with a lot of work. I felt awesome. Like superwoman of the weeds. But as the final piece fell from the sky, along with it came a squirrel's nest, followed closely by a very angry squirrel. I felt horrible. I felt even worse when that squirrel looked right at me and I swear gave me the finger as he ran off.<br /><br />I tried to apologize but he wasn't hanging around for it. I now have 3 sizeable dents in my car and a whole through my rain visor where the little rats have thrown nuts at my car. What kind of shit is that??SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-2395502402324569192009-09-23T08:45:00.000-07:002009-09-23T09:16:45.816-07:005 things I'm Obsessed with Right Now1. Spending as much time with my hubby and baby W. as I can<br /><br />2. My tv shows are back!!! Hello Grey's Anatomy! HIMYM! Big Bang! Medium! SYTYCD! I've missed you all so much! I can't wait to pick up right where we left off!<br /><br />3. Reading blogs..all kinds of blogs but especially ones involving raising babies..maybe I'll pick up some wisdom from those wiser moms who have time to chart/graph, brush their kids teeth<br /><br />4. Sleep..I'm obsessed with how to get it. Any suggestions? And by suggestions I do not mean letting baby W. cry-it-out..that's just not for me...I've actually been falling asleep in random places and at inappropriate times..i.e. at work or in the shower<br /><br />5. Getting life insurance, wills and poas drawn up and taken care of so that if something should happen, things would be taken care of. I'm amazed at how much I obsess over this type of thing now. Having a baby has made my general run-of-the-mill worrying into a full blown verge of panic-attack stressing thing. I know (hope) I will feel much better once it's taken care of...SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6042236309939620932.post-21457657774246380182009-09-23T08:08:00.000-07:002009-09-23T08:30:39.922-07:00Is it bedtime yet?By now I should have this schedule thing figured out, right? That's what everyone says..he's 10 months old, he should be on a schedule....don't let him set your schedule..blah, blah, blah...I'm not much for listening to the nay sayers and the know-it-alls but sometimes I wonder...<br /><br />I've read the baby sleep books and then put them directly into the goodwill box..all the charts and mapping..I can't hardly find time to brush W's four little teeth..when will I have time to graph and chart his sleeping schedules and feeding times??? Hello! I am a new mom who hasn't had a full nights sleep since that one time around Thanksgiving, do you really think a FREAKING chart is going to help me??? hahaha..but I digress, me and the hubby have really tried all combinations of sleep-feeding possibilities but the kid just won't sleep through the night. He's like this tiny, rubik's cube that has this magical code that I was never given at the hospital so now I'm screwed and I will never sleep through the night again!!!!<br /><br />CRAP!!SBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09389481700620071555noreply@blogger.com0